In this episode of The 30-Day Year Podcast, Dave and Jacq Conway pull back the curtain on perfectionism: Where it comes from, how it shows up in high achievers, and what happens when high standards quietly turn into self-sacrifice, nervous system overload, and stalled dreams.

Jacq shares stories from her childhood, her dance career, and her years running big marketing projects, while Dave unpacks the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism, shares the famous pottery class experiment on quantity versus “one perfect pot,” and challenges listeners to stop using perfectionism as a socially acceptable excuse for inaction.

As a funny side note: Jacq actually really did struggle with recording this episode. As she admits on air, this episode on “perfectionism” literally sat in her project management board labeled “Not Done,” for a long time, because her “perfectionist brain” decided this one had to be flawless! The irony is not lost on her or Dave. 😂

If you are the kind of person who always wants it “just a little better” and you secretly beat yourself up when things are not perfect, this conversation will help you turn perfectionism into a strength instead of a cage. You’ll even discover how Jacq ultimately turned toxic perfectionism into one of her greatest superpowers… and how YOU can too! Tune in to episode 45 now!

Key Takeaways

Perfectionism is an illusion of getting it right before you start (02:08)
For Jacq, perfectionism is the belief that something must be flawless before it is allowed into the world. She describes it as an illusion that you can “get it right” in advance, instead of learning through doing. That illusion makes every project feel impossibly “high stakes” and turns normal creative hiccups into perceived “evidence” that you are not enough. Awareness of this false belief allows you to detach and stop being held back by it!
High standards are powerful, until they cost your health and peace (03:53)
Jacq talks about spending hours as a child perfecting her room, then later obsessing over precise dance routines and meticulously produced events. Those standards created beautiful outcomes, but they also led to long nights, an overloaded nervous system, and unhealthy work habits. It’s a polarity: there is a healthy perfectionism and an unhealthy perfectionism, and the line is usually your well-being. The good news is, it’s YOUR choice.
Perfectionism creates pressure, and the perfectionist creates the pressure (06:59)
When Jacq ran large events and marketing campaigns in the past, she was the one adding complexity and extra tasks in pursuit of “the best possible” result. But without enough help or budget, that meant she became the one carrying all the extra weight and pressure! She notes that perfectionists often design the very pressure that is burning them out, then try to cope with it instead of questioning the standard or the structure, or getting help. In this segment, she shares how she avoids this trap now, and how you can too.
The pottery class experiment: Quantity plus refinement beats one perfect shot (15:17)
Dave shares the story of a pottery teacher who split a class in two: one group spent six months working on one perfect pot, while the other produced as many pots as possible, improving each time. In the end, the quantity group produced the best pieces. Jacq lights up at this approach because she prefers environments of constant refinement over sitting on one project for months. The experiment becomes a metaphor for business offers, webinars, and content: action plus iteration creates excellence.
Perfectionism is often rooted in fear of criticism and disappointing others (10:40)
Underneath Jacq’s drive for excellence is a deep fear of letting people down. She connects perfectionism to the “fear of criticism.” The desire to impress and to be seen as capable can quietly take over, unless you develop internal faith, confidence, and a more honest view of how capable you already are.
Jacq refuses to sacrifice her standards. Instead, she has learned to get help, pay for real skill, and believe that others she hires can reach at least 80 percent of what she can do. She encourages perfectionists to study faith, reflect on how far they have come, and build inner confidence that things will work out. Dave adds that perfectionism only becomes toxic when it prevents value from being produced at all.

Remember, your inner perfectionist is not the enemy, as long as fear is not driving the show.

Perfectionism is not the villain; inactivity is.

Dave and Jacq invite listeners to embrace the best part of perfectionism - love for detail, commitment to quality, and respect for the work, while dropping the part that turns life into a constant stress test.

The perfect time, perfect offer, and perfect conditions never arrive. What you have instead is the choice to act now, then refine in motion.

So hit publish. Launch the offer. Record the first version. Let iteration do the polishing.

Final Insight

The value is in what you produce, not in what you keep rewriting inside your head. Remember, people who need you can never benefit from the offers, content, or projects you never put out into the world, so listen to this episode now and learn how to turn perfectionism into one of your greatest superpowers!

FREE Resource:

Imagination and visualization are powerful tools for creating the results you want! If perfectionism has you stuck, start by training your mind to see yourself acting with confidence instead of fear. Use a simple daily visualization practice to shift from “What if I fail” to “What if this works better than I expected?”

Download Dave’s free Visualization Checklist now to get a simple, step-by-step routine you can use each day to build faith, reduce fear, and take action with a calmer mind.